You became a mom.
You didn’t stop being you.
But sometimes, it can be hard to hear yourself underneath everything that comes with motherhood:
the needs, the decisions, the advice, the mental load, and the pressure to get it right.
And when you’re constantly thinking about what everyone else needs, you might forget to ask a much simpler question:
What do I need?
A little check-in with you.
In the little pauses that already exist, take a moment for yourself. Maybe it’s while you’re making coffee, sitting in the car, feeding your baby, getting into bed, taking a shower, or whenever you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed, irritated, disconnected, or feel like you’re just pushing through.
Pause for a moment and ask:
1) What am I noticing right now?
Start with what’s already there.
Maybe you’re noticing…
I’m exhausted.
Everything feels like too much.
I’m touched out.
I’m anxious about something.
I’ve been rushing all morning.
I’m lonely.
I haven’t eaten enough.
I really don’t want to do what we have planned today.
I’m actually feeling good right now.
You don’t need to judge it or change it. Just… notice it.
2) What do I need?
Not “what should I need.” Not “what would make me a good mom, partner, employee or anything else.”
What might help you right now?
Maybe it’s…
Something for your body: quiet, putting your phone down, stepping outside, fewer plans, not being touched or needed for a few minutes.
Support: asking your partner to take over, texting someone, getting out of the house, having another adult around.
Space: ten minutes alone, going for a walk, doing something that belongs only to you.
Comfort: a cup of tea, your favourite show, crying, sitting somewhere cozy, doing absolutely nothing.
Connection: seeing a friend, talking to your partner, cuddling your baby, being around other moms.
Something to look forward to: making a plan, returning to a hobby, booking something just for you.
And sometimes the answer might simply be: I don’t know.
That’s okay, too. Noticing that is still a check-in.
3) What would make today 5% easier?
You don’t have to meet the whole need.
Maybe you can’t get three hours alone… but you can take 10 minutes.
Maybe you can’t catch up on sleep… but you can go to bed instead of folding the laundry.
Maybe you can’t make the day quiet… but you can decide not to make one more stop on the way home.
Maybe you can’t solve what’s weighing on you… but you can tell someone that you’re having a hard day.
You’re just looking for one small way to respond to what you noticed.
The more often you ask, the easier it can become to recognize your own voice underneath all the noise.
Less Noise. More You.
You don’t need another person telling you what to do.
Sometimes you just need to hear what’s already there.
That’s a big part of the work I do with women who are feeling exhausted and disconnected from themselves: creating space to quiet the noise, understand what’s draining them, and reconnect with themselves underneath all the roles, expectations and shoulds.
If you’re craving some space that’s just for you, I’d love to meet you.
Book a complimentary 15-minute conversation with me.
And if you found me during a mom community chat… hi!
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